Sessualità delle persone con disabilità


Sessualità delle persone con disabilità.

Che succede quando una persona costretta a dipendere dagli altri perché impossibilitata a muovere gli arti superiori ed inferiori ha un desiderio sessuale e il conseguente (ed ovvio) bisogno di soddisfarlo? Cosa pensa, sente e fa il caregiver (colui/colei che si prende cura della persona con disabilità) in tali casi? C’è qualche varco legale ed etico che ci consenta di rispondere in maniera adeguata a siffatte necessità/desideri?

Naturalezza del desiderio

Nelle testimonianze di genitori di ragazzi con disabilità e delle stesse persone disabili si sente spesso narrare del desiderio di entrare in contatto con una prostituta, ovverosia con l’unico soggetto, peraltro privo di una formazione specifica, a cui oggi, in Italia, evidentemente è possibile riferirsi per trovare una soluzione a siffatte problematiche.

Allo stesso tempo, essi manifestano la paura che quest’ultimo possa non essere pronto al confronto con tali problematiche, peraltro spesso decisamente complesse. Eppure il bisogno sessuale è presente e, con il tempo dello sviluppo puberale, cresce sempre di più.

Spesso le persone con disabilità e, nel caso di giovani, i loro genitori, sono costretti, in un misto di vergogna, paura e difficoltà, ad affrontare quello che diventa un problema di difficile soluzione. L’ipotesi di rivolgersi ad una “lavoratrice del sesso” appare, in effetti, l’unica soluzione.

La questione, d’altra parte, si complica quando sono le ragazze disabili ad avere bisogni sessuali. Sulla prostituzione maschile esiste, infatti, ancora un forte tabù, venendo essa più spesso associata esclusivamente al rapporto tra due uomini. Ma ancor più complicata è la questione del rapporto tra disabilità ed omosessualità.

Ma si tratta poi solo e davvero di sesso? Non è forse anche un bisogno di carezze, sguardi, in fondo di amore? Si parla, e tanto si è fatto (anche se non sempre adeguatamente ed omogeneamente sul territorio nazionale) per le barriere architettoniche,  ma si parla poco di quelle “barriere mentali” che impediscono di percepire i corpi delle persone con disabilità come potenziali corpi erotici e sessualizzati.

Come se fosse impossibile già solo pensare che queste persone abbiano dei desideri comuni a tutti gli esseri umani, fatti di sesso e di amore.

Sessualità: diritto inalienabile

In molti Paesi, a tal proposito, sono stati legalizzati i cosiddetti “lovegivers”, persone specificamente addestrate, attraverso un lungo, complesso ed articolato iter formativo a carattere scientifico, a rispondere alle diverse necessità presentate in tali casi. Non si tratta di prostituzione, ma di “assistenza sessuale”, cosa ben diversa.

D’altro canto, si è soliti pensare alla sessualità come “semplice” soddisfacimento sessuale, come appagamento di un istinto, come ad un atto rispondente a necessità di un corpo ridotto a semplice “corpo-macchina”.

Eppure, nella Dichiarazione universale dei diritti sessuali stilata durante il XV Congresso Mondiale di Sessuologia del 1999 ad Hong Kong, si legge che “la sessualità è una parte integrante della personalità di ogni essere umano. Il suo pieno sviluppo dipende dalla soddisfazione dei bisogni umani di base, come il desiderio di contatto, l’intimità, l’espressione emozionale, il piacere, la tenerezza e l’amore. […] I diritti sessuali sono diritti umani universali basati sulla libertà intrinseca, la dignità e l’uguaglianza di tutti gli esseri umani. Poiché la salute è un diritto umano fondamentale, la salute sessuale deve ritenersi un diritto umano fondamentale”.

Dunque, la sessualità è una dimensione dell’umana esistenza all’interno della quale la componente dell’incontro dei corpi, la sua “meccanica”, è, sì una dimensione importante, ma non quella esclusiva.

Allo stesso tempo, se impediamo a qualcuno di trovare una propria e personale via di soddisfacimento, stiamo agendo una violazione dei diritti umani che avrà effetti disastrosi sul suo benessere bio-psico-sociale.

E’ proprio ciò che si verifica oggi nel caso delle persone con disabilità.

Negazione del diritto all’intimità

Aldo Masullo, professore emerito di Filosofia Morale della Federico II, nel corso di un convegno sul tema svolto di recente a Napoli ha sostenuto che quello che viene loro negato, in tali casi, è il diritto all’intimità, a quella dimensione dell’incontro profondo tra soggetti, che ha accompagnato la specie umana sin dai suoi esordi ed all’interno della quale soltanto l’esistenza umana può forse dirsi pienamente compiuta.

Ma in nome di cosa viene negato questo diritto inalienabile? In fondo, ciò che più spaventa è il silenzio che è stato steso su quest’area tematica. Fino a pochi anni fa (ma forse ancora oggi), infatti, non era neanche dato pensare al disagio che alcune persone con disabilità possono provare in tale ambito.

Ciò che il sociale ha sin qui prodotto è un occultamento, un diniego dei bisogni di sessualità ed intimità espressi in tali casi. Di contro, l’atteggiamento prevalente è stato improntato al pietismo, essendo la percezione di queste persone quella di persone “sfortunate”, vittime di un destino avverso, tragico ed ineluttabile.

Ciò di cui la società, sino ad ora, si è preoccupata è stato solo di aiutarle negli aspetti concreti della vita quotidiana, abbattendo le barriere architettoniche, appunto, ed offrendo loro assistenza sociale. La sessualità, invece, continua a restare un tabù.

Il pensiero, al riguardo, sembra presentare una strana inerzia, una resistenza all’articolazione di uno sguardo critico e ponderato. Come sempre, la sessualità è una dimensione scomoda che, in maniera produttiva, deve però essere “scomodata” per venire alla luce.

Eppure, proprio quell’inerzia, quella resistenza tenace che il pensiero si porta appresso all’interno del contesto sociale porta a chiedersi se i tempi siano effettivamente maturi per una azione di contrasto a quelle discriminazioni ancora oggi agite nei confronti delle persone con disabilità in nome di un supposto ordine morale, un ordine che impedisce l’ascolto dei bisogni di tali persone, se non, appunto, il loro silenziamento.

L’etica: condizione universale

Se la morale rimanda alle norme consolidate all’interno del contesto sociale (morale da mores = costumi), l’etica rimanda al posizionamento del soggetto di fronte alle stesse (etica da ethos = comportamento), dunque, a sé ed al mondo.

È in nome di una battaglia di civiltà che tali questioni vanno sollevate, che là dove è silenzio finalmente risuoni la parola delle persone interessate, che le stesse norme che su tale argomento orientano la condotta dei soggetti, vengano finalmente interrogate sul loro senso e sul loro fondamento, in vista, perché no, di un loro profondo ripensamento.

di Paolo Valerio *

* Ordinario di Psicologia clinica presso l’Università Federico II di Napoli e direttore del Centro SInAPSI – bullismoomofobico.it

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